Surf Roots, Software Thoughts

I’ve gone to school in Seattle for three-and-a-half years, and I’m originally from Los Angeles. This past summer was my first summer away from home; I worked (and still work part-time) for Redfin in Seattle. Lately I’ve been spending tons of time thinking about where I want to spend my life. On one hand, I can work for Redfin in Seattle, and on the other hand, I can work for Google in China for a few months and then look for work in the Bay Area.

I think Seattle and the Bay Area both offer similar benefits – outdoor activities, fun nightlife, snowboarding, interesting people, etc. The largest difference between Seattle and the Bay Area, at least for me, is their distance to Los Angeles and to the people I love. While trying to figure out if I want to live in Seattle or the Bay Area, I did a lot of thinking about friendships and family relationships and how they’ve changed over time for me.

High School
Friends
I had insanely good friends in high school. There were seven of us including me, and we did everything together. We road tripped, camped, surfed, snowboarded, played videogames, watched TV, saw movies, and did just about everything else together. We cried when the first of us left for college. We saw each other at least once or twice a day in high school, and we all shared insanely strong emotional connections. We had the same interests, the same personalities, and the same values. I love those guys, and I’ll always remember the awesome times we had.

Family
I loved my family in high school, but I wanted to spend more time with my friends. I enjoyed spending time with my family – snowboarding with my brother and dad, cooking with my mom and sister, and doing all the other things we would do. I cried when I left home for college, and I cried a lot when I said goodbye to my mom in her hotel room in Seattle. When I think of high school, I don’t really think of family, but that’s not to say that I didn’t love my family and spend lots of time with them.

College
Friends
In high school, my friends and I would call one and other most days to figure out what was going on. In college, I find that there are only a few friends of mine whom I speak with regularly about what is going on. I’ve made lots of good friends in college, but I only see most of them every few weeks. Perhaps this is because I’ve become so involved in my work and my schooling. Perhaps this is because I let my high school memories consume my thoughts to the point that I don’t make a large enough effort to see my college friends more.

I’ve found that I’ve grown apart from many of my insanely good high school friends — one moved to London, another broke up with me, and two others changed their interests a lot in college. On the other hand, my bond between the other two of my high school friends has gotten stronger. We act exactly how we would act in high school when we’re home for break. We call each other every day to get a game of soccer going, session the half-pipe, drive to Mammoth, or hit the surf. We miss each other when we’re away from home, but we always look forward to seeing each other when we’re back for break. We talk every few weeks over the phone, and we visit each other once every year or so.

Family
My relationship with my family has gotten insanely stronger since I’ve been at college. Spending time away from home really made me realize how incredible my family really is. My sister and I stopped fighting over stupid things like the toilet seat being up. I find myself wanting to spend more and more time with my family as time goes on, and I find myself getting slightly more homesick the longer I’m away from home. I miss them when I’m away, and I want to spend lots of time with them when I’m home.

Real Life
I’m not in “real life” yet, but I feel like my descriptions here are accurate because I spent a summer away from home. The summer away from home is probably a good preview of how life would be after college.

Friends
You see your friends on your vacations. In real life, you probably have two or three weeks of vacation, and the chances are good that unless you make a large effort, you’ll see your good high school and college friends only during those vacations. That sucks! There are no more breaks where we’ll all be in town together. No no. Instead we’ll have to coordinate trips and vacations to make sure that we’re all in town together at the same time. You have to try hard to see your friends if you’re away from them.

Family
Same thing goes with family. You no longer have room in your schedule to automatically go home for break. You have to make an effort to plan vacations and head home if you’re away. You have to take weekend trips. Seeing your family and friends if you’re away from them isn’t an automatic thing anymore.

I believe that we’ll all come across some people that become our best friends, and I believe that those friends can be found at any point in our lives. I know of some people that have made life-long friends in college, and I for sure made life-long friends in high school and in college. I also know of some people who have made life-long friends after college. I believe that as we grow older and begin to commit ourselves to our work, life partners, and family, we have to make a large effort to never lose touch with our friends and family that we once would kill to see. I’ve realized that the chances of me being away from my friends and family after college are very high, so now I know that I’m just going to have to make an effort to frequently call and visit. I find that most of my motivation comes from my family and friends, and I’m now making a promise to them and to me that I’ll never lose touch with them, even if we’re hundreds of miles away.

Maybe I’m being too dramatic here; maybe I should go to the city with the best opportunity and make new friends. No. I will make new friends, but I will never lose touch with my old friends and my family.